Rain
by nikkihime
Summary: Two fateful meetings, two different people, one coffee shop. Eriol's POV on a love he secretly nurtured for ten years.


**RAIN**  
originally published in xkirakiraxLJ (07032006)

Disclaimer: Card Captor Sakura (c) CLAMP.

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I watched the rain fall down from the café window seat. The espresso I was drinking was warm, yet my hands felt cold. If it was because of the rain outside or because of the fluttering feeling in my chest, I do not know.

The people outside were hurrying, the colorful umbrellas lighting up the dim surroundings of the late afternoon. Such a scene reminded me of that time I wanted to forget: a scene I was in ten years ago.

I wanted to forget it not because it was horrible or because I did not want to rub elbows with the persons involved in it. I wanted to forget it because it was painful. Painful that I could feel my heart throbbing even now. I might not be mature enough then, but the emotions and the words I had felt were so true, they grew old with me.

I sipped from the cup I was cradling in my hands and I felt bitterness and sweetness. I felt a bit reminiscent of my previous life. It was bitter I wanted to let it go, but it was so sweet I wanted to cherish it. Is this what irony meant?

There was so much against me back then. I was against all the odds. I didn't want to let go, but I had to, for the sake of everyone's happiness.

Everyone but mine.

They never wanted us to be together. They did everything to separate us. They were afraid I would hurt her because of my powers. They were scrutinizing me because I had powers.

It had always been their decision.

We wanted to hold on, but people began getting involved. Her best friend started to be put in question, even if she had never contributed to our decisions. She was just there to care and support us. But she was also put into blame. My descendant's family was also questioned. Why did he have abilities as well?

I began to grow tired of everything. But she had been always there, holding my hand and comforting me. She was always the positive one. She was never rattled or nervous or pained. She was always smiling. She had been the only comfort offered to me when I wanted to die in pain.

But, because of my pain, she was living in hell, too. We were almost deciding to move away when her mother came to me. She threatened her daughter that she will be disowned. She will have no access to whatever their family will gain. The position in her mother's company will not be hers.

I thought about what life to give her. I was merely a scholar. Even my powers were dwindling. I wanted to keep her. I wanted to be selfish. But it just won't work.

Ten years ago, we went to this café. We ordered the same espresso. I told her that I will buy train tickets across the street. I told her to wait for me.

She smiled and agreed. I held her gloved hand and kissed it. She giggled, not knowing that contact was be our last. I left my umbrella in her care and rushed off to the rain.

That smile was the last I had seen of her. I left for London on the same day. I did not leave a letter nor call her again. I wanted to erase everything. I wanted her to leave behind every thread of pain I had caused her because of my pride.

I was probably guilty of not letting her know. I wanted her not to feel hatred towards her family. If possible, I wanted all her hate towards me. It may sting, but at least her emotions are still for me.

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Ten years after, I sat in this café. The same one that brought me tears. I could not remember how the tears that came felt. Maybe it was because they were melted by the rain, or I just felt numb deciding on what I did.

I looked at my watch. It was half past eight PM. It was the same time ten years ago, when I left her waiting here. I probably have lost my senses, coming here after such a long time, wanting to catch even a glimpse of her when I was too afraid to even hold her close.

The chime on the door clinked daintily. I ignored it. From the corner of my eye, I saw the manager smile and greet the customer who came.

"Ah, it's you again. What will you have?"

I wiped my lips with the napkin and prepared to leave.

"The usual espresso, please."

I turned towards the owner of the voice. She was 28 years old, but her voice had not changed. Her hair was still flowing almost endlessly to her waist, the curls more defined.

She turned around and met my stare. I saw her lips part open, showing me her surprise. She dropped what her hand was holding and it clattered to the floor.

I moved towards her and picked up the black umbrella she had dropped. How familiar this umbrella felt! I handed it back to her. "Tomoyo…"

"What took you so long?" she whispered teary-eyed. "I have been waiting."

"I'm sorry. The ticket line was too long." I held up a pair of train tickets, bought a long time ago.

The rain outside stopped, but I never noticed it. Maybe because it was melted by my tears, or I grew numb from the happiness that awakened in me.

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-end-


End file.
